"It Is Finished"

"It's done." My words to Shannon when I called him from the parking lot of the courthouse. (He wasn't able to be in court today due to work and school schedules in Savannah.) We both let out a big emotional sob. It's scary not knowing how things will turn out. Knowing the biggest hurdle to having our sweet boy permanently is out of the way brings out a lot of emotion for us and those that love our boys so much.

So, it's done. The parents' rights to Biggie, Smalls and Sugar Ray have been terminated (pending a short appeal window). It's been a long time coming and it didn't come without some last minute drama that can't be shared here. Let's just say a whole lot of family and friends showed up to court in a last minute effort to try and claim the children. It was gut-wrenching and so much more.

So, it's done. I am relieved and yet still holding my breath. I can't quite exhale fully. I'm not sure if that's because the adoption isn't final or if it's because of how very sad it is that their mother is no longer legally their mother. Just let that soak in. Their mother is no longer their mother in the eyes of the law. That's a call to pause and pray for her in this moment. I hope you will.

I think it's most likely that I am so exhausted from the process. It's been two years for our little guy and two and half years for his older brothers. That's a long time for children to not have anything permanent to call theirs. And a long time to love and invest fully in them not knowing the outcome of things.

We still can't promise them forever.

It may be done but it's not over.

These words, "It's done." bring to mind Jesus' words on the cross, "It is finished."  Jesus received drink, uttered these words, bowed his head and gave up his spirit. He had endured a grueling walk to the cross, did what was asked of him and surrendered. He was tired.

While we are in no way enduring the suffering that Jesus experienced, we do know that because of his suffering we have a high priest who can sympathize and knows our pain and weakness. We know that we will experience similar hardship and that he sees our pain.

We are tired. We've done the work of bringing these boys to this point. God has walked with us every step of the way and heard every doubt, frustration and fear expressed in our hearts or out loud.

It is done. We must simply take a breath and surrender to the rest of the process and trust in God's hand over our boys' lives.

It may be done but it's not over.

And there lies the good news.

You can't have Friday without Sunday.

When Jesus surrendered and gave up his life on the cross, there was a short period where scholars believe he spent time descending to the pit of hell. We know that he spent some of that time in a tomb - waiting. There was a short waiting period for everyone that was filled with doubt and uncertainty and three days later those fears were resurrected into new life and a new future.

We are in the waiting period now where we still can't guarantee the boys their future.

So we sit. And wait. And trust. And allow things to play out legally knowing that a new day is coming and there is hope for a new life for them.

Thank you for all your prayers along the way. It is all so much easier to bear knowing you are surrounded by people who love you and your children. Please continue praying - we are almost there.

Sunday is coming. A new day, a new hope and a new future awaits.